They Went Left

Lower Silesia, August 1945

Zofia lines up at a Red Cross desk to give the details of herself and her younger brother, Abek, whom she is looking for. She hasn’t seen Abek in five years since the family was taken to Auschwitz Birkenau. Abek Lederman, Zofia explains, would be 12 now. She receives a document saying that she was a prisoner at Gross-Rosen, which will help her to get food rations.

Zofia is disorientated and easily overwhelmed; she has just been released from the hospital after years in concentration camps, most recently the Gross-Rosen camp. She remembers her family being sorted on a soccer field in the Polish town she is from, Sosnowiec. She and her family—Mama, Papa, Baba Rose, Aunt Maja, Abek—were taken to Birkenau. Those selected to live were sent to a line on the right. Zofia thinks she remembers herself and Abek being sent right for hard labor, whereas the rest of her family were all sent left to die in the gas chambers.

A kind Russian soldier, Dima, is helping Zofia, shepherding her gently from the hospital and cautioning her to take it easy.

Dima drives Zofia to Sosnowiec. She remembers telling Abek to find her at their family’s apartment after the war, so she is determined to look there first. Dima has bought candy, a magazine, and a blanket for Zofia on the car ride. She is shocked by the strangeness and desolation of the countryside that they pass through; many buildings have been reduced to rubble, and there are discarded possessions littering the road.

When they reach Sosnowiec, Dima goes to a Soviet office while Zofia walks the remaining blocks to her family’s apartment. She finds the hidden key taped to the top of their letterbox and lets herself in.

Almost all of her family’s furniture is gone; other people had been living there but have obviously vacated it. There is no sign of Abek. Zofia walks through the abandoned and empty rooms that used to belong to her family members, feeling dazed. Only a box of a few garments and the family’s photos are left.

Mrs. Wojcik, her neighbor, suddenly comes in with a broom raised, looking to beat away squatters. Mrs. Wojcik is shocked to see Zofia, saying, “I didn’t think any of you would be back” (29). Zofia reflects that her neighbor didn’t seem pleased that Zofia survived the war.

Zofia, an accomplished sewer and embroiderer as Baba was, remembers that she sewed an alphabetical list of things relevant to their family into Abek’s coat before they went to the soccer stadium to be taken to the concentration camp: “A is for Abek. B is for Baba Rose” (32).

Dima comes to the apartment with potatoes and sausages. Feeling overwhelmed and needing a moment alone, Zofia says that she will go to the bakery for bread to go with the meal. As she goes to the bakery, she recalls the “Juden Verboten” signs that appeared years ago when the Germans first occupied Poland in 1939.

In the bakery, Zofia sees Gosia, Aunt Maja’s best friend, who hid in a cellar for the majority of the war. Gosia asks Zofia who else was on her transport to Birkenau, but Zofia becomes overwhelmed and can’t talk about it, shaking and stopping talking as she remembers the cattle cars. Gosia promises to ask if anyone she knows has seen Abek. Zofia asks Gosia to dinner; Dima’s commander will also be in attendance.

There is a swastika in Mrs. Wojcik’s flowerpot when Zofia returns to the apartment building.

Gosia brings gifts for Zofia, including soap and a blanket. Gosia asked a friend, Salomon, about whether he has seen Abek, but he has not. Salomon, who was at Birkenau, also told Gosia that many camps were liquidated before the incoming allies arrived and that prisoners were transported further into Nazi-controlled territory. This might mean that Abek is in Germany.

Zofia tries to remain present at the dinner party with Dima, Gosia, and Commander Kuznetsov, but she is distracted thinking about Abek. She explains her preoccupation to Kuznetsov, who suggests that Abek could be in Munich if he were transferred to Dachau; there are refugee camps there. Dima admits that he has written to enquire about Abek’s presence in Bergen-Belsen, and Abek wasn’t in their records; he apologizes to Zofia for keeping this from her.

At one point, Zofia accidentally calls Gosia Aunt Maja, and everyone looks at her with pity and concern.

Dima insists on finding a bedroll and bringing it to Zofia in the empty apartment.

Zofia shoves some leftovers from the plates, a few cabbage leaves and spit-out bits of gristle, into her mouth. Three men come to the door, leering and threatening, and push their way into the apartment. They tell Zofia that “this neighborhood is Judenrein” (57). Zofia quietly hopes that they will just beat her, not rape or kill her. She offers them money and vodka and then tells them that a Russian soldier will be returning soon. They are skeptical until they see Dima’s hat and then accept the money she offers and leave, threatening to visit the next week.

Dima sets up the bedroll for Zofia. He sleeps on the ground beside her, gently stroking her hair. Zofia can’t sleep. She gets up and writes a note for Dima, apologizing for leaving so abruptly and telling him that she needs to find Abek. She takes all the money from Dima’s coat and leaves.

Zofia remembers putting her hands down the pants of a German soldier as “payment” for him not to send her family to Auschwitz. The soldier says he will send them to Birkenau. Later, Zofia learns that Birkenau, or Auschwitz-Birkenau, is also known as Auschwitz II. Zofia has a dream where she and Abek, wearing his jacket with the alphabet sewn into it, are sorted to the right.

Allied-occupied Germany, September

Zofia takes trains toward Germany. The routes in Poland are circuitous; the Red Army changed and rerouted many lines. In Germany, the earth is scarred and scorched from recent allied bombing. Zofia sits next to an old man who admits that he doesn’t like trains anymore, just as Zofia was remembering the train to Birkenau. He offers Zofia sips of spirits when she wakes from nightmares.

German girls with horse-drawn carts offer paid rides between stretches of destroyed train tracks. One warns Zofia not to ask for help from Russian soldiers, who are violent and dangerous. Zofia tells the girl that a Russian soldier was kind to her.

Zofia reaches Foehrenwald, the refugee camp. She is directed to speak to Mrs. Yost, the camp administrator. Zofia explains that she is looking for her brother, who will be 12. Mrs. Yost says that the camp is for adults but invites her to look at the records in case. Mrs. Yost then takes Zofia to record Abek’s details with the missing person records. Zofia recognizes “I.G. Farben,” the name on the office book; Mrs. Yost explains that the office used to be part of a pharmaceutical company that made Zyklon B, the pesticide that was used in the gas chambers.

Mrs. Yost leaves Zofia with a man a few years older than her, Mr. Mueller, to take her to her new bungalow. Abruptly, Mr. Mueller, whom Zofia learns is called Josef, starts fighting with a man. Josef is being dominated and beaten by the larger man until he slams him in the throat and regains control of the fight. Zofia is struck with a half-memory of something about her father in a line in Sosnowiec but can’t recall it properly.

Josef takes her case and leads her to her cabin. Zofia tries to ascertain why he beat the man; Josef is evasive, simply saying that the man smelled like piss. Zofia asks if Josef punches latrines, and Josef laughs. Zofia remains badgered by the feeling that she knows Josef from somewhere, such as a concentration camp, but Josef simply says, “I wasn’t anyplace I want to talk about” (84).