The First Ladies

“‘You may have never, but I have. Women and men like this pass through my life every day,’ [Mary says]. Her voice holds no anger or even frustration.

‘It’s unacceptable, and I want to apologize.’

‘You must never apologize for a sin someone else has committed,’ she says with a shake of her head.”

The theme of friendship begins with Mary calmly explaining that she is accustomed to being treated with disrespect by white people. She reclaims her power by staying calm and self-possessed and by pursuing the mutually beneficial connection with Eleanor. She knows she can effect more change through that partnership than by getting angry with racist white women.

“I was only a young girl when I discovered that a happenstance of birth, nothing but skin color, could deem a person a blessing or a burden.”

Mary reflects on her first realization of racism, noting that skin color is simply a “happenstance”—but it determines the forces that will shape one’s life. She recognizes that skin color has no true connection to her worth, even if there are social constructs designed to convey otherwise.

“By ‘different,’ I’m sure she means she never expected to be sitting in an auditorium shoulder to shoulder with Negroes. Unlike at other venues, including other colored colleges, I don’t allow segregated seating at my school. When I call my gathering a community meeting, I mean that. Everyone from the community is treated the same.”

Mary intentionally offers community events that do not restrict or prescribe seating by race, so Black and white attendees sit side by side. This decision demonstrates her savviness; by offering lectures by such well-known figures as Langston Hughes and knowing these events will draw both white and Black audiences, she both provides an important cultural event and forces white attendees in particular out of their comfort zone. The result benefits everyone; Black and white audience members learn and grow from hearing Langston Hughes and white members experience desegregation, perhaps for the first time.

“‘Lord,’ I begin a whispered prayer, and I go on to ask that, should anything go wrong in my life, He step in and make the crooked road straight.”

Mary’s Christian faith is an ongoing, constant part of her characterization. Her religious spirit and hope in God help give her strength in times of turmoil.

“I am an educator, and today I taught a lesson. I only hope it was learned.”

Teaching, both in and out of the classroom, is a huge part of Mary’s identity. Her lesson for the young train conductor who called her “Auntie” when he asks for her ticket shows she’s witty, wise, and outspoken. She doesn’t teach him by lecturing about respect or racial equality. While she well understands that “Auntie” is a term white people often call Black women, Mary’s power is in her refusal to participate in that reality. Instead, she takes the man’s own logic at face value: If Mary is his “Auntie,” then he must be the child of one of her sisters. She tells him that she has searched her memory but can’t recall him among her nephews. The rebuke is gentle and funny (to the other passengers) but also direct: he has no connection to her that allows such familiarity. Because she’s correct that he isn’t her nephew, there’s nothing he can say to defend himself other than explaining what they both understand—that he disrespected her because she’s Black. The lesson is nonconfrontational but clear and memorable.

“Franklin leans half his weight on his cane, and I support the other half with the arm I have slipped through his. His legs can’t bear a single pound. It is a stance we practiced time and again before he won the governorship. We knew, from that point forward, that we needed to conjure an image of physical health for him. And sometimes it does indeed feel like a magician’s trick.”

Despite their lack of a romantic relationship, Eleanor and Franklin remain committed political allies and partners. This excerpt demonstrates both her physical support after his paralysis and her political support of his career. Franklin never wanted to be viewed as weak or unfit for the job due to his paralysis, and Eleanor understands that his appearance of health benefits her as well: His position as governor gives her political clout to accomplish her own goals.

“It’s funny to think of the earnest, warmhearted, surprisingly frumpy Mrs. Roosevelt as the wife of a governor and niece of a president. She seems too sincere, too wishful of doing good, to be part of the political machine.”

Mary’s astute description of Eleanor signals that she sees Eleanor for who she truly is and not for her position in a politically powerful family. Because Mary is a trustworthy narrator, her assessment of Eleanor’s personality and character offers an independent perspective of Eleanor’s earnestness. Mary’s kind words also reveal a growing fondness and friendship between them, as well as their commitment to doing good despite the corruption of politics.

“White folks—even well-meaning ones—routinely presume they know what’s best for us. And it pains me to say it, Eleanor, but that’s exactly what happened here.”

Eleanor’s assumption that Mary, a Republican, would campaign for Franklin, a Democrat, is deeply presumptuous and hurtful. Wishing to preserve their friendship, Mary teaches Eleanor hard lessons about making assumptions about what the Black community needs or wants. Only through Mary’s clear and passionate education can Eleanor reflect on her actions and take time to learn, reflect, and grow.

“I want to cry or scream, but I won’t. Victory comes in never allowing the hateful words that are spoken to draw out those emotions in me.”

As a strong, stoic character, Mary has cultivated self-control and doesn’t often show her emotions. When white men verbally attack her grandson with racial epithets for wanting to spend time at the beach, she determines that her victory is not in reacting with matching hatred but in changing the policies that restrict Black people from enjoying the same freedoms and facilities—such as the beach.

“One day, you’ll be scrutinized and scorned, and the next, you’ll be celebrated and lauded. Sometimes by the very same people. You will not be able to control the narrative, but you can act according to your conscience, particularly in your personal life. And at the end of the day, that should be the only measure that matters.”

Eleanor struggles with not meeting the media’s prescribed standards for a first lady. As her aunt advises, she must focus on her self-worth over the media’s fickle narratives. Eleanor grows strong in the face of harsh press and judgment and becomes confident in her choices and the causes she fights for.

“However, whatever transformation he’s been through, nothing can transform his white skin. He can only see the world through white eyes, and for that reason, his appointment is a slap in the face to every Negro.”

When FDR appoints a Clark Foreman, a white man, as the Special Adviser on the Economic Status of the Negroes, Mary rejects Eleanor’s argument that his progressive philosophy might overcome his whiteness. This exchange demonstrates the bond between the two women; Mary, normally stoic, is comfortable enough with Eleanor to let her emotions surface.

“‘I want to join the NAACP.’

‘You what?’ Mr. White blurts out. I know how unusual this is. For a First Lady to take any sort of controversial stance, let alone one regarding race, is unheard of. But I don’t want to be like any other First Lady.”

Eleanor’s decision to join the NAACP not only reveals that she’s an unconventional First Lady but also proves her actions match her words. Talking about social reform isn’t enough; she wants to change public perceptions through her actions. Themes of identity, self-confidence, and racial unity all entwine in Eleanor’s decision.

“I reach for Mary’s hand, clasping it as I stare at this horrible sight, this induction of a young child into ritualized, accepted racial bloodshed. ‘This may well be the most disturbing piece in the entire exhibit.’

As Mary murmurs her agreement, Walter probes further. ‘Why is that, Mrs. Roosevelt?’ His tone does not bear any surprise, and I’m guessing my reaction is the whole point.

‘Because it evokes a terrible truth that Mary revealed to me not long ago. Inaction in the face of racism is acquiescence to it.’”

When Eleanor attends the Art Commentary on Lynching gallery showing she and Mary have a visceral reaction to the image of a merry, festive crowd of white people, one of whom holds a child on her shoulders. The sketch’s caption reveals the child is attending “her first lynching” (188). The juxtaposition of caption and image shock Mary and Eleanor and prove that inaction as a response to racism, or any evil, condones that evil.

“A sea of white male faces look up from around the table, deep frowns on their faces. I can almost hear their thoughts: What are you doing here? You don’t belong […] Yes, I belong here, I want to shout. Yes, my skin is one hundred shades darker than yours, and still, I belong in this conference room as much as you do.”

Always stoic and determined in the face of prejudice, Mary is ready to take on the men in the conference room when they literally tell her she doesn’t belong in that room. She reacts viscerally, gripping her valise in anger. When one of the men explains that the conference room she is looking for is on the floor below, Mary is embarrassed and admits the exchange is a lesson for her. Her willingness to admit error and learn reflects her commitment to education and growth.

“As I move away from the porter and follow the train tracks, I remind myself that his view of what Negroes can and cannot do has been shaped by the limits he’s experienced. What he thinks, what he believes, is not his fault.”

When the train porter attempts to stop Mary from entering the train taking visitors to see the president, Mary once again handles the situation with a patient lesson. She realizes people are shaped by their limited experiences, so she must help re-shape the larger world if she hopes to make a positive difference in his (and all others’) values.

“I realize I have a choice. I can let fear and hatemongers and evil words stop me and the good I can do in this world as First Lady. Or I can trust in the safety precautions Earl provides and I can proceed—in this moment and beyond.”

Eleanor joins Mary for dinner in her new Washington townhouse, and they sit in front of a wide bay window. When a crowd forms, clearly angry at seeing a Black woman and a white woman eating together, Eleanor turns a threatening situation into an opportunity to model anti-racist behavior. She has consistently appreciated the unique power of her position to effect social change but acknowledges the risks to herself and her security team. Her risks are calculated and smart, and their positive effects spread, thanks to the women journalists who follow and support her.

“The honor to speak to you today is all mine. But I want to thank Mrs. Bethune for the biggest honor of all—being introduced today by another First Lady. The First Lady of the Struggle!”

The title The First Ladies reflects that there is more than one way to be a “first lady.” Eleanor’s use of this honorific for Mary reflects her respect for Mary and Eleanor’s own lack of ego. She is proud to share the title “First Lady” with Mary and recognizes her lifetime of hard work, sacrifice, and achievement.

“Just as the eyes of this conference are fixed on me today to assess how I reacted to racism, the eyes of the world are watching us. And we must ensure that justice prevails.”

As World War II starts, Eleanor reflects on how they cannot let injustice win—with the Nazis or at home. When she is ordered to move to the side of the auditorium reserved for white people during an event she’s attending in Alabama with Mary, Eleanor enacts their plan to stand up to the injustice without breaking the letter of the law. Just as all eyes in the auditorium were on her to see how she’d react to Alabama’s legislated racism, the eyes of the world will be watching how America reacts to the Nazi aggression toward Jewish people during Kristallnacht. This incident reflects Eleanor’s (and Mary’s) commitment that injustice, whether in America or abroad, must be met with action.

“The more colored soldiers are able to achieve in the military, the stronger their arguments for full equality. How can the rights afforded to most Americans be denied those who’ve fought valiantly for America’s freedom, after all?”

The theme of equality is clear in Mary’s plans. Her reasoning helps the United States in the war effort while simultaneously demonstrating that Black Americans deserve equality and respect. Her tactic is smart in the current climate.

“I hope from this point forward these men [Walter, Robert, Eugene, etc.] will see that a seat at the table, even if it’s in the back, is better than no seat, no table, no invitation at all.”

In Mary’s perspective, Black people must be patient and fight within the system as fiercely as possible instead of risking their standing and progress by having no part in the system at all. Her stance shows she’s pragmatic, and her achievements indicate this approach works for her.

“I glimpse such tenderness and concern in her warm brown eyes that it brings tears to my own eyes. When was the last time someone was actually worried about me? Not as the wife of the president, not as the liaison to a federal agency, not as the deliverer of speeches and articles, not as mother or grandmother, not as the person who can dole out important favors. Only as Eleanor.”

When Eleanor falls back into depression, Mary offers support as her true friend. This scene demonstrates that neither woman is always a pillar of strength or immune to the difficulties of her many roles. They are human and react to negative press or family troubles as real people.

“She turns away, but I stand strong. ‘What I have to talk to you about won’t take too long, and it cannot wait. And I would appreciate you not pushing me aside as if I don’t matter at all.’

She whips around to face me. ‘How can you say such a thing to me?’ she asks. ‘You certainly do matter; you know that. But right now, I’m asking for twenty-four hours, because we are at war and I have other urgent business—I cannot always only tend to your issues.’

‘My issues?’ My head rears back. ‘I never knew that equality was my issue; I thought it was all of our issue. I thought you cared about the same causes that I do.’”

Eleanor and Mary experience conflict, as all long-time friends do, and this heated exchange reflects the extreme stress each feels. When they pause to hear themselves, they quickly apologize and share their troubles, which are both personal and professional. Conflict humanizes them; they are both historical giants but exchanges such as this show the people behind the achievements.

“Imagine what we could demonstrate to the world about our partnership and humanity and equality and our friendship. We’d be showing—not telling—the world that we are sisters.”

Eleanor urges Mary to go with her in the airplane piloted by the Black pilot. This unprecedented, historic ride represents overcoming stereotypes and providing equal opportunities to all people. Mary watches Eleanor fly with pride for herself, her friend, and their fight for equality.