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58 pages 1 hour read

Pack Up the Moon

Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2021

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Symbols & Motifs

Birds

In Pack Up the Moon, birds symbolize freedom, change, and the soaring height of love’s permanence. Josh first sees a seagull when he burns his funeral clothes on the roof of his apartment building. He begins to understand the power of this symbol when, in a flashback, Lauren sees a seagull on Cape Cod and admires it for its strength, calm, and fearlessness, wishing she could become one in the Great Beyond. Lauren attains this freedom in her dreams, for instance, when she dreams of flying during her hospitalization in Chapter 18. Watching birds and imagining their soaring flights provides her with a sense of escapism and a wish for a life unburdened by illness.

For Josh, birds often appear in quiet moments to connect him with Lauren and symbolize their enduring love. Such appearances occur both before Lauren’s death, such as when herons and pelicans trill and gabble on the beach, and after her death, when a seagull appears at her funeral. A seagull also appears when month three’s letter arrives, and at another time, a seagull lands in Lauren’s rooftop garden. While the seagull symbolizes Lauren in Josh’s eyes, birds, with their songs and migrations, remind Josh that, although life goes on, love connects the living and the deceased. This reminder offers solace to characters who are grappling with loss and grief, highlighting the continuity of life’s natural rhythms and love’s permanence at the same time. 

Dreams and Daydreams

Dreams and daydreaming connect Lauren and Josh, blurring the lines between reality and surreal experiences and offering glimpses into their respective emotional landscapes. This motif reflects their yearning for connection, solace, and the struggle to accept the reality of Lauren’s illness and eventual passing. While dreams initially provide a sense of connection and hope, they evolve to mirror the characters’ changing emotions in the face of loss. This motif highlights the intricate, evolving nature of grief, love, and the human experience throughout the novel.

In the earlier chapters, both Josh and Lauren use dreams and daydreams as a means of escaping from the painful reality of Lauren’s condition. Josh daydreams about the idyllic life they could have lived in Hawaii, emphasizing his struggle to accept that Lauren is gone. These dreams provide him with an escape, even when they contain difficult memories. For Lauren, dreams are a positive way to connect with the living and the deceased. She believes they serve as reassurances of her father’s presence in the afterlife, creating a bridge between the realms of the living and the dead. She hopes they will do the same for Josh after she passes.

As the narrative progresses, the motif of dreams transforms. What initially provided relief and a sense of connection for the characters later becomes a source of confusion, frustration, and even “torture.” Josh's sex dream of Lauren highlights his struggle to separate reality from fantasy, leading to emotional turmoil. Lauren’s dreams and daydreams shift from moments of escape in recalling Josh’s proposal or imagining Josh married again to ones filled with confusion over where her father is on her wedding day, reflecting her emotional struggles in the face of her own grief.

Letters

The motif of letters plays a significant role in the structure and thematic development of Pack Up the Moon. Letters, both those written by Lauren to her father and those addressed to Josh, function as a means of communication, connection, and catharsis, while also embodying themes of love, healing, and personal growth. 

Letters are a powerful tool for communication and connection between characters. For Lauren, letters first facilitate connection to her deceased father. Through them, she expresses her deepest thoughts, feelings, and experiences, despite his physical absence. She yearns to share her life with him, even in his absence, because she understands The Healing Power of Interpersonal Connections. Lauren’s letters to her father also provide a form of catharsis for her. Through these letters, she processes her emotions, reflects on her life, and shares her journey from her initial diagnosis to her eventual passing.

For Josh, Lauren’s letters provide a way for her to communicate her feelings, hopes, and wishes beyond her own lifetime. They bridge the gap between the past and the present, allowing Josh to continue to feel connected to Lauren, even when she is gone. The act of reading these letters becomes an emotional lifeline for Josh. They allow Josh to grieve, remember, and understand the depths of Lauren’s love and her desire for his happiness.

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