Dawn

Alone, Lilith thinks about her son and husband, who had been in a car accident before the war on Earth. Her little boy had been killed instantly, but her husband, Sam, had suffered brain damage and remained on life support for three months before dying. While visiting him in the hospital, Lilith saw other patients on life support, ones who had been there much longer, and she had considered her husband lucky to have died so quickly. Now, Lilith wonders whether she will die quickly if the Oankali damage her brain. Nikanj comes into the bathroom and says that it doesn’t know how to be with someone it cannot talk to. Lilith replies bitterly that brain damage will not improve her conversation; Nikanj replies, “I would rather damage my own brain than yours. I won’t damage either” (78). Lilith must accept either itself or Kahguyaht for her change. Since Kahguyaht is an adult ooloi, Nikanj says that it could give Lilith pleasure during her change, but Lilith says she just wants to be left alone. If Lilith does not choose Nikanj, Kahguyaht will bring about the change to Lilith without her consent, which Nikanj feels is wrong.

Lilith falls asleep and dreams of her husband. When she awakens, Nikanj is lying beside her on the bed as usual. Lilith imagines Kahguyaht there instead and the idea fills her with fear and disgust. She harshly tells Nikanj to wake up and do whatever it has to do. Immediately, Nikanj sits up, opens Lilith’s jacket up to expose her neck and back, and touches her. There is a pressure, then a puncture, briefly hurting more than she had expected. This is followed by “confused memories, dreams, and finally nothingness” (80).

When Lilith wakes up, she cannot move at first, but soon she can sit up. Nikanj comes into the room and sits with her, touching her head with its tentacles. Nikanj remarks that Lilith is very complex and is filled with so much love and death, it understands now why many Oankali were unable to get over their fear of humans. Lilith does not understand, but she does not feel as alarmed as she feels she should be.

Lilith wants to know what it did to her because she doesn’t feel any different, then she realizes that Nikanj has been speaking Oankali and she can understand it. Lilith is startled and tries to clear her head. Nikanj says that it is now glad that they were put together since it had been afraid of being connected to Lilith and possibly failing to create a bonded relationship with her: “I was afraid I would make you hate me. For an ooloi to do that…it would be very bad. Worse than I can tell you” (81). Nikanj says that Kahguyaht would have tried to coerce Lilith into doing what it wanted her to do, but Nikanj feels that humans should be treated with the same respect as other Oankali.

Nikanj says that now it will be ready to go to its family to mate and that it will then be able to go through its final metamorphosis, asking Lilith for her help with this. During its development of its sensory arms, it cannot be near its mates, but it will need someone close by. Lilith, though she does not fully understand all this, agrees to help. She wonders what Nikanj will look like with sensory arms and wonders how sex determines personality among the Oankali. Then she realizes that sex does not determine personality among humans, so this is an irrelevant question. Nikanj is grateful and says that before its transformation, it will find a human for Lilith to meet.

Lilith waits for Nikanj to find an English-speaking human for her to meet. Finally, Kahguyaht finds a suitable candidate, a man who had chosen to stay with his Oankali group and has lived with them for many years. Nikanj accompanies Lilith to this man.

Lilith asks if the Oankali ever use machinery: metal and plastic that is not living. Nikanj answers that they do not like to do so because they cannot “trade” with it. They arrive at the home of the human man, named Paul Titus, who opens the door for them.

Paul is tall, muscular, and dark-skinned, like Lilith. He welcomes her and invites them both in. Lilith turns all her attention to Paul as they sit down, thrilled to be with another human. His accent seems American, like her own, and her mind overflows with questions to ask him. Abruptly, she asks, “Have you really decided to stay here?” (86). Paul explains that he was 14 years old when he was Awakened, and everyone he knew had died in the war, so he had no desire to return to Earth. Paul says that the Oankali told him he was dying when he was rescued though he did not remember that. Lilith remarks that she couldn’t remember her rescue either and asks Nikanj if their memories were altered. It replies that it was necessary because humans who were allowed to remember their rescue became uncontrollable and sometimes died.

Paul asks Lilith where she lived and what she did before the war. Lilith lived in Los Angeles and had gone back to school to study anthropology. She had been hiking in Peru when the war started. Paul was on a vacation with his parents at the Grand Canyon though he lived in Denver. Lilith comments that many people who survived the war were in the southern hemisphere, which did not freeze as badly during the nuclear winter.

Paul comments that he must be older than Lilith now since he has stayed Awakened for so many years, though she was older when they left Earth. Lilith realizes that Nikanj has silently left the room, and she is a little uncomfortable to learn that Paul can open and close the doors chemically, while she cannot. She comments that Nikanj and other Oankali are probably watching them. Paul laughs and says, “Maybe he thought we might be kind of inhibited if he stayed around” (89).

Paul does not understand why Lilith or anyone would want to return to Earth and live in Stone Age conditions. When Paul finds out more about Lilith and comments that she must be the exact kind of person the Oankali were looking for to Awaken the humans, Lilith is deeply affected. She realizes that after years of observation, the Oankali must know her better than any human ever had.

When Paul says a price will be paid for returning to Earth, Lilith asks what price he paid to remain with them. “‘The price,’ he said softly, ‘is just the same. When they’re finished with us, there won’t be any real humans left” (92). Lilith argues that it does not have to be like that, but Paul says she has not been Awakened long enough to know better.

Paul says that Lilith could stay with him permanently, but Lilith refuses. Paul says that the Oankali expected her to say no: “Don’t do what they expect—just for once. Don’t let them play you like a puppet” (93). Paul grasps Lilith’s shoulders, and she feels afraid of him. He awkwardly tries to kiss her, but she tells him that she doesn’t want to put on a show for the Oankali, who are watching. When he says they’ll always be watching, Lilith says that she does not want to give the Oankali a human child to tamper with. Paul asks how she knows she hasn’t already; they don’t know what kind of experimentation the Oankali have done with human genetics. His genetic material has been used to create 70 children.

Lilith continues to resist his advances, and Paul tears off her jacket, then tries to pull at her pants. Lilith catches him off guard and shoves him away. Paul corners her against a wall. Desperately, Lilith tries to distract him with insults until he punches her. Paul tells her, “They said I could do it with you. They said you could stay here if you wanted to. And you had to go and mess it up!” (96). Paul kicks Lilith, and she loses consciousness.